She lights up my soul. The moments were apart are the hardest but in many ways the most sincere and beautiful. When you love someone this much, it affects your state of mind, your well-being.
You care about them in a way you never dreamed possible. Those moments she’s driving home fill me with dread and fear as I worry about her safe return. She’s the most amazing beautiful person I’ve ever met. I sit here on a train along the Pacific Ocean; the sun setting in the west, imagining how amazing our lives will be together. My best friend. My confident. My completion to my existence. The one who makes me feel free to be me. The person I never have to fake it for.
I close my eyes and can see her dark hair, her luscious lips, every line on her face as she smiles. My favorite moment when I’m but inches away from her, looking into her eyes, enveloped by the most incredible sense of peace. Of contentment. Of love, I’ve ever experienced. If I’m lucky she’ll catch my breath as I exhale, complete in each other, simply being. Never in my wildest dreams did I envisage such feelings were possible. You hear the stories, see the movies, talk to friends but when it hits, you didn’t see it coming.
This total lack of control on ones heart as it drifts endlessly towards them. The singular energy that takes your breathe away as you realize the significance of your feelings for this other human being. Her hair, her legs, the small crease at the top of her thighs just before her hips. Everything about this women screams love to your inner being. There is no doubt in your mind, no second thoughts, no fear, no pang of wanting to do better. It doesn’t get any better than this, than her, here, right now in your arms.
You find yourself smelling her, kissing her gently, in places you never knew could be kissed. Her skin, like an incredible aperitif before the most amazing last supper you could ever wish for. It is a religousesque experience. An energy you cannot explain but can neither deny. From the first moment to the last conscious breath at night it simply floods your soul with a euphoric explosion of joy, happiness, lust, passion and desire. No one else can match this. No one.
Your longing for them by your side pains you when apart. It drives your journey forward every second of every day. Without them you would be nothing. The thrill of giving yourself to someone so completely, the adrenalin this gives you. This person, right here, right now, them beside you, within you, without you, above you and below you. Nothing has before and after has been like this. It is simply love. The truest of loves you ever imagined. This feeling you feel for the other person is reflected so deeply when you look at them all you want to do is stare, the most amazing beautiful mirror one could ever foresee.
From her toes to the tip of her nose this woman means everything to me, makes me a better man. No a better piece of the puzzle we know as humanity. For my existence with her is fulfilled, better, less contrived. Sincerity abounds as I talk about her, the glow of the blood rushing around my body exploding to all my bones within me, this feeling of love that encapsulates me. She is the one. When it hits you and you know, well you know. You’ve heard it, read about it, but its completeness in the moment when it happens is exhilarating. You never want it to end and hope it never does. The world suddenly appears smaller, simpler to navigate. The thoughts of traveling to far off exotic places fill your daily grind. The mundane wistfully drifts into lush green Pacific oasis, accessible only by boat. Dreams you want to live in, awake, with her. A never-ending stream of endless possibility, together, as one unit. The world yours to conquer. Sunsets, dawns, storms and sand in places you never knew you had places. The narrative to your lives.
Gareth Kelly 